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Who I am today isn’t the same person I was before. I was an innocent and naive little girl who was afraid to be alone. I always tried to find someone to love me because my father never showed any love to me until I was fourteen years old. I couldn’t say no to others because I was nice and sweet and people took that for granted. I was innocent. After my dad died, I thought I found someone who actually loved me, but he was constantly doing me wrong; I was naive. I got pregnant at 15. I was shocked and sad because I didn’t know what to do or what to expect during the whole process. I was always angry at myself, but as I was getting bigger I started to fall in love every time I had a doctors appointment and heard my baby heartbeat .
One day, my doctor Marie told me I could possibly loss him because my body was too small for a child and I was stressing too much. I was heartbroken and angry that I could probably lose my first born child because I’m not taking good care of myself. My doctor Maria, said “when your next doctor appointment comes we’ll find out if you can finish the pregnancy or not” I replied with an okay with tears coming down my face. A month later, i’m praying to god that I can continue on with the pregnancy pray so much that I asked god to don’t take away my son from me. Hours went pass it’s time for my appointment I take deep breaths and walked in the office and set down waiting on my name to be called, minutes later she called me. She started explaining things to me and she finally said those words I’ve been dying to hear for the last month. She said, “We can finish the process.” I was so happy I was crying tears of joy because I had prayed everyday that God wouldn’t take my son away. When it came time, I was in labor from 4:21 AM to 8:09 PM. 16 hours and some minutes of labor. He was finally born 6 pounds and 9 ounces it was a Mother’s new beginning to a new life.
I was happy because not only was he born on the 12th of February, but he was born on the day my father had died. It was a complicated mix of emotions. They do say once one life is gone another one is born. I was proud that I was a young mother because I knew that I had some responsibilities to take care of, it might not be easy but I decided I would do whatever it took to make my son proud of me. That’s why I still go to school and do what I have to do to make him proud. He’s my motivation. Everything I do is all for him. I can’t wait to graduate just so I can say “WE DID IT!” It isn’t an “I DID IT” anymore. I’m living for two.
My son is the best thing that ever happened to me. Giving up will never be an option because I want him to see that his mother still went to school even though I was a young mom. I want him to be proud of the woman I’m going to become one day. All the hard work that I’ve been putting in is going to pay off. I owe my son everything, and that’s what I’m going to give him.
I don’t regret getting pregnant young, it only made me open up my eyes and see things more clearly. I’ve changed because I couldn’t let my son see people walking all over his mother. I have to be strong and smart about the decisions I make now, and I have to separate myself from the negativity because I can’t have that in my life. I’m not the same girl I was before. I’m a young woman who is trying to be successful and make her child proud.
Written By; Twanisha Dixon